Why Am I Just Now Hearing About Jay Riemersma?

To those who know me, it should come as no surprise that I have a high opinion of my own personal situational awareness. I pride myself on knowing what’s going on, who’s doing what, and who they’re doing it with.

So how the heck did a guy like Jay Riemersma slip under my radar?

Jay is a Republican candidate for Michigan’s 2nd Congressional district. I learned of him via an email message I received this morning (ah yes! Grassroots FTW!). I headed over to his website, http://jayriemersma.com/ and started reading.

Photo courtesy of http://jayriemersma.com/

My first thought was, “Holy crap, I could save this, do a little copy pasta, and this website could be about me!”

• Pro-life.
• Supports the 2nd Amendment.
• Supports Sanctity of Marriage.
• Wants to Improve education.
• Favors Small Government.
• Opposes the Michigan Business Tax.
• Wants to Restore the Republican Party.
• Christian
• Supports a Strong National Defense (I can dig that!)

Where’s a polling booth when I need one?!?!

I’ve been working to get your support for Pete Hoekstra for Governor, and Goeff Hansen for State Senate.

Now I’m reaching out and asking you to support  Jay Riemersma for the Michigan Congress.

These are the kind of men we need in Lansing to get Michigan back on its feet.

Dear Mother Nature…

Dear Mother Nature,

I am writing this letter to you to express my unhappiness with your selection of weather today. I gave two weeks notice that I was planning open houses this weekend for some highly valued clients. You have apparently either missed the notice, or you received the notice, and chose to quite literally rain on my parade anyway.

This is not cool. As I was driving to Grand Rapids this morning, the rain had stopped, and I began to think that maybe, just maybe, you had softened your heart. As I pulled into Avalon Pointe, there was still no precipitation. You seemed to have decided to be kind, and perhaps would allow some favorable weather.

Then, just as I exited my car, and was putting out my sign, you felt the need to release a downpour of rather cold water from the sky. I am now soaked, and will remain so for the duration of this open house. Gee, thanks.

In case you haven’t been watching Fox News, “Mother”, the real estate market is already plenty full of challenges. There are lots of homes for sale in Grand Rapids, and the prices are low. As a Realtor, I am working harder than ever, and overcoming these challenges one at a time. I do not need you placing additional obstacles in the way of my success.

For future reference, kindly save your inclement weather fits for Wednesdays. That day works for me, and I have no problem with you throwing a meteorological fit on that day. In addition, because I am thoughtful and generous, I would have no objection to you throwing a thunderstorm tantrum between the hours of 9pm and 5am Eastern Standard Time.

Please take this message to heart, and rethink your actions. Should you not, I shall have no further recourse but to begin buying Styrofoam dinnerware, stop recycling plastic, go back to buying AquaNet hairspray loaded with CVC’s (despite my rapid hair loss), and attempt to annoy you in general.

Get your act together, and behave accordingly.

Sincerely,

Tim White – Realtor, Coldwell Banker Woodland Schmidt, Hart, Michigan